It’s a fact of life that the joy of owning a pet goes hand-in-hand with the heartbreak of losing one, whether because of old age, illness, or an accident. While losing a beloved pet is extremely difficult, the act of saying goodbye is an important step in managing the natural and healthy feelings of grief, sorrow, and sense of loss.
Your pet is an important part of your family’s life and it is natural for you and your child to feel as though you have lost a friend because you did. While it’s impossible to shelter kids from the loss of a pet, you can help them cope with it. And because a pet’s death might be their first time losing a loved one, the grieving process can help kids learn how to cope with other losses throughout life.
Be honest
Using indirect language to talk with your child about the death of a pet can be confusing, especially for children who may be afraid or unaware of what death really means. To help make the conversation clearer for your younger ones, try to avoid using language like “they passed away” or “they moved on.” There are ways to be honest while remaining gentle and compassionate.
As you would with any tough issue, try to gauge how much information kids need to hear based on their age, maturity level, and life experience. If your pet is very old or has a long illness, consider talking to kids before the death happens. If the pet’s death is more sudden, calmly explain what has happened. Be brief, and let your child’s questions guide how much information you provide.
Help your child cope
Everyone responds differently and in different phases, so it’s important to let your child know that there’s no right or wrong way to heal. Like anyone dealing with a loss, kids usually feel a variety of emotions besides sadness after the death of a pet. Remind them that they may feel sad, angry, guilty, and confused, but that you can work through these emotions together.
Encourage your child to express their emotions. Help them to do something that will bring them comfort during such a difficult time, like going for a walk, spending some quiet time to rest, or getting together with friends.
It also is important that you do not try to hide your own sadness about losing a pet. Showing how you feel and talking about it openly sets an example for kids. You can show them that it is okay to feel sad, talk about feelings, and cry when you feel sad. Not only is it comforting to kids to know that they’re not alone in feeling sad, but sharing your grief can provide its own type of comfort.
Moving on
Learning to move on from the loss of your pet is very important to the grieving and healing process. You might consider a ceremony in honor of your pet or help your child find another way to remember a pet, by sharing stories and creating a scrapbook of memories.
Most importantly, talk about your pet, often and with love. Let your child know that while the pain will go away, the happy memories of the pet will always remain. When the time is right, you might consider adopting a new pet — not as a replacement, but as a way to welcome another animal friend into your family.
At Pet Cremation Services, we understand that it is impossible to fully prepare yourself and your children for the loss of your beloved pet. We understand that your pet is a beloved family member and caring for their final goodbye is an honor that we take very seriously, with care and compassion.
